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Yankee Independents Too!!

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by zipperneck52, May 28, 2004.

  1. zipperneck52

    zipperneck52 fished with Noah

    271
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    821
    :DDemocrat, Republican or Southerner?
    >
    >What with elections coming up, we should all decide. Democrat, Republican
    >or Southerner?
    >
    >
    >
    >Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and
    >Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following
    >question:
    >
    >You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    >children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
    >the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
    >charges. You are carrying a Glock 9 mm, and you are an expert shot. You
    >have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
    >
    >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
    >Democrat's Answer:
    >
    >Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
    >look poor or Oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
    >him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
    >kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
    >his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have
    >appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway,
    >and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is
    >it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to
    >kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his
    >knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    >Should I call 9-1-1? > Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise
    >taxes, have a paint a nd weed day and make this a
    >happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all
    >so confusing!
    >I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a
    >consensus.
    >
    >
    >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    >Republican's Answer:
    >
    >BANG!
    >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    >
    >
    >Southerner's Answer:
    >
    >BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of
    >reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
    >Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
    Me, I like Notched Hollow Points....... :D :D :D :D