Words women Use

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by papaperch, Feb 16, 2009.

  1. For some of you younger fellers that are in constant troubles with your ladies. This advice is given freely by a battle scarred 61 year old vet of the war between the sexes. Not that it will do you any good but might cause a chuckle or two.




    > 1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they
    are right
    > and you need to shut up.
    >
    > 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an
    hour.Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five
    more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
    >
    > 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
    something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with
    nothing usually end in fine.
    >
    > 4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
    >
    > 5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
    often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
    idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
    with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
    >
    > 6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a
    women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and
    hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
    >
    > 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just
    say you're welcome.
    >
    > 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying #@!% YOU!
    >
    > 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
    meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several
    times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man
    asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3es.
     
  2. These are part mine and my wifes daily conversations after 15 years of wedded bliss.

    Henny Youngman once said "I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me"
     

  3. Erterbass

    Erterbass Ohio Angler

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    Great stuff.

    Hey wait a minute...If I'd had this owner's manual before I got married I could have avoided a bunch of agony and confusion... ;)

    Bob
     
  4. ya can't live with em' and ya can't stab em'