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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road (updated)

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Worm Drowner, May 19, 2004.

  1. Worm Drowner

    Worm Drowner Banned

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    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    GEORGE W BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the Road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    HANS BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay. until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

    DR SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historic inevitability.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS
    Did I miss one?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2015
  2. katfish

    katfish Cats are where it's at!

    1,497
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    ROBBY ROBINSON

    To prove to a possum that it could be done! :D
     

  3. excellent, i loved it
     
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