This is why women should not take men shopping against their will

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Columbusslim31, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. Columbusslim31

    Columbusslim31 Student of Finjitsu

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    After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
    accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring
    and
    preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to
    browse.

    One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
    Wal-Mart.

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
    commotion in
    our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban
    both of
    you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below
    and
    are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
    carts
    when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
    intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
    women's
    restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
    "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
    on
    layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.


    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
    shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
    from
    the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
    crying
    and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
    mirror
    while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling gun s in the hunting department, he
    asked the
    clerk where t he antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
    humming
    the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
    by
    using different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through,
    yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
    assumed
    a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

    And last, but not least,

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    awhile,
    then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

    Regards,

    Wal-Mart
     
  2. captnroger

    captnroger OGF Webmaster

    I LOL'd at this, thanks.
     

  3. I:gotta try these great ideas; lol.
     
  4. Best joke i've seen in a while.
     
  5. Chuck P.

    Chuck P. Here We Go Steelers

    #15- I have to do this one.:)