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Ohio State Alumni 05'
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So, another contested thread on here gave me an idea for some funny stories. This is only for funny stories and not to make ignorant comments about police officers as they obviously do far more good for society than bad. Take it elsewhere if you don't like police, this is just to get a few laughs based on some silly experiences. Do not rapture me!

1) Riding home from a moview when I was a teenager we were pulled over for going left of center 3 times. My friend asked "How much is it for that?" The officer then said, "are you drunk?" We couldn't help but laugh, which then led to the dreaded pen test for both of us. Obviously we had no problems following the pen and our pupils were checked, passed with flying colors...we were told to stop swerving and get home. We never went across the yellow line in the first place!

2) In college, too drunk to drive, so we called a cab to go to a bar. My cousin wasn't supposed to be smoking cigarettes. The officer pulled over the cab and my cousin said, "please don't tell my mom I'm smoking" The cab driver had no passengers license and had several warrants out for his arrest. He was taken away in handcuffs and we showed up to the bar in a cop car.

3) On my way home for a less than fancy establishment in Pittsburgh (e.g. ladies with no clothes), we had just hit the interstate when we were pulled over. Asked what we were doing out so late, pen test etc. when we said, "we just came from the club".

4) Parked by a football field with an old flame from high school. Apparently lots of vandalism in the area...needless to say, she jumped out of the backseat and pretended to be looking at cds while I was still sitting in the back. Still cracks me up to this day...officer told me he was sorry (see Mcluvin quote in the movie SuperBad)

There has to be some good stories out there!!!
 

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While serving in the USN in Sicily, an Italian Cop pulled me over. I was passing a car which was passing another car--on a curve. The officer asked me, "Guida cosi in America?" (Do you drive like this in America?)

"No, solo in Sicilia," I responded. (No, only in Sicily.)

He just gave me this disgusted look and brandished the Italian hand signal for "Get the F out of my face before I put a boot in your shady spot." I guess it was too much of a hassel to deal with a serviceman for him. I was only being honest. Everyone drove like maniacs over there, so I just tried to fit in.

One time when I was an OSU student, I was riding my bicycle home from school. There were at least thirty cars stacked up at a light, so I was riding down about a foot of pavement between them and the shoulder--fast. The next thing, I heard a siren give that little "whoop whoop" and there was a Columbus Police car coming up the shoulder and telling me to pull over. When he got out of the car I asked him, "Was I speeding officer?"

Veins popped out of his head, and he turned purple. The words just sputtered violently out of his mouth: "If--I--didn't--have--another--call--I'd." He got back in his car and spun gravel at me as he went after some real crime.
 

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Just 2 weeks ago, I was pulled over late in the afternoon while towing my canoe on a small trailer behind me, was coming through Tremont City and was done fishing for the day on the Mad River.
Comes out of nowhere, lights on a 1/2 mile back, I pull over and he proceeds to take my license while asking what/where I had been, then he said he noticed high quality fishing rods and a diet Mtn dew between the seats and proceeded to not even check my license but stated he pulled me over because with a canoe, he had assumed I was drinking all day and was ready to give me a "road side test". was back on teh road in about 2 minutes... I never knew towing a canoe was "probable cause" ..LOL

Salmonid
 

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Back in the heady days of the '70's - I've been told that I had a wonderful time, btw - I was at a buddy's dorm in Kent where we "indulged" is some Mama Nature...

It was some pretty serious stuff, too. I was driving home down 59 headed towards Stow when I got pulled over by a Kent Policeman.

He asked me if I knew why he was pulling me over, I said I'd had no idea, I wasn't speeding...

He said "Yes. That's true. You weren't speeding. I clocked you doing TWELVE."

LOL... 12 mph.

He gave me the choice of telling him the truth about my inebriation or lying about it. I chose to be honest.

He made me pull into a Dunkin' Donuts and told me to go inside and stay there for at least two hours. I did, although putting someone in my state inside a donut shop was hilarious. He told me that he was gonna keep checking on me, and that if he came back and my car was gone, he already had my plate # and he would have no problem putting an APB out on my Pumpkin Orange 1971 Buick Skylark.

He drove in a few times, then after about 2 hours pulled in and waved me outside. He said "Are you alright now?" I said I was, and he let me drive home.

If that would have happened today I would have sooooooo been in jail.

LOL
 

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Many years ago, I had just gotten home from a 13 month tour of duty in Korea. I bought a car to run around with for 30 days because I was going to Germany and figured I would sell the car just before I left for my next duty station.

I found a car that I liked but what I did not know was that the guy I bought it from had been involved in a police chase and somehow had evaded them. The car was a light blue 1958 Chevy Impala, the only one in town with that color. I got the car for a decent price and was happy until that first night.

I had a girlfriend with me and we were leaving a drive-in theater about midnight. All of a sudden a cop car comes out of nowhere with his lights flashing. I figured he was on an emergency run so I started to pull over and give him lots of room but then there is another cop car on my right. I simply came to a complete stop. Then it began to look like the entire police department was there. My girlfriend told me later that she counted seven cruisers there. I couldn't tell because they had me stretched out on the hood of the car.

When they opened my wallet, they saw my army I.D. card and wanted me to confess that I was AWOL. I told them I was on leave but they didn't want to hear that. They also wanted to know why I had run from deputy Parsons? Of course I had no idea of what they were talking about.

They hauled me off to the city jail where I saw a cop that I knew. I told him the whole story and thankfully he drove to my mother's home and got a set of my military orders.

They ended up turning me loose but every time I drove that car after dark, I was pulled over. After a week of that I traded the car off. Later, my sister informed me that the new owner had the car repainted so he could at least get to and from work without being stopped.
 

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back when i was younger i built a custom truck (magnet for cops) well i had over 70 tubes of neon, bellbrook cop pulled me over for window tint, came to the passenger side of the truck and knocked on the window and proceeds to ask do you know what i pulled you over for, me being a young smart a$$ i said well was it the suspension too low, the loud stereo, custom rims, all the lights he goes no it was your window tint, i then proceeded to ask him if he would like to use my glasses cause i dont have window tint, he got all pissy and gave me warnings on everything and told me to get on my way...
 

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Back in the heady days of the '70's - I've been told that I had a wonderful time, btw - I was at a buddy's dorm in Kent where we "indulged" is some Mama Nature...

It was some pretty serious stuff, too. I was driving home down 59 headed towards Stow when I got pulled over by a Kent Policeman.

He asked me if I knew why he was pulling me over, I said I'd had no idea, I wasn't speeding...

He said "Yes. That's true. You weren't speeding. I clocked you doing TWELVE."

LOL... 12 mph.

He gave me the choice of telling him the truth about my inebriation or lying about it. I chose to be honest.

He made me pull into a Dunkin' Donuts and told me to go inside and stay there for at least two hours. I did, although putting someone in my state inside a donut shop was hilarious. He told me that he was gonna keep checking on me, and that if he came back and my car was gone, he already had my plate # and he would have no problem putting an APB out on my Pumpkin Orange 1971 Buick Skylark.

He drove in a few times, then after about 2 hours pulled in and waved me outside. He said "Are you alright now?" I said I was, and he let me drive home.


And then... he went in and had some donuts... lol!
 

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When I was in highschool, probably 10th grade. I got pulled over 4 times in one day by the same cop. He would literally sit by my house, wait for me, then pull me over. The first time, he let me go with a seatbelt warning, second time he says my window tent was to dark, third time I was at my house with the car stereo on, when I pull out he pulls me over. And the 4th time for having no rear view mirror. The only thing he gave me a ticket for was window tent though. After the 4th time I got smart with him and asked him if there was anything else on the car I should fix so you don't have to pull me over again. He didn't like that, but he never pulled me over again and lives just down the street from me now. I still don't understand why he had it out for me so bad that day, isn't that harassment?
 

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I had 6 thug cops destroy the interior of my car in an illegal search, handcuff me and throw me in the back of a cruiser when I came outside and also threaten to confiscate a legally owned and legally stored and legally transported handgun they found while tearing my car up(before CCW), and write me a citation for 200 dollars. The heinous crime? Leaving my vehicle run unattended in the driveway of a private residence with the parking lights on.

I attempted to file a complaint regarding their conduct and their shift lt. refused to take it simply saying "my officers dont respond to those types of allegations"

Needless to say I have been pretty sour on law enforcement ever since.
 

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I got pulled over while on an early morning run in a shady part of Barberton. The officer asked what I was running from and i told him I was just getting some exercise. He said "we don't see that much around here" and sent me on my way.
Fishing at Nimisila years ago in waders I walked back to my truck in the dark to find a sheriff and a game warden parked by it. After asking me if I'd caught anything they told me it was a bad place to be after dark for reasons I'll leave alone in a family forum. I had no idea.... never been back either.
 

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I had 6 thug cops destroy the interior of my car in an illegal search, handcuff me and throw me in the back of a cruiser when I came outside and also threaten to confiscate a legally owned and legally stored and legally transported handgun they found while tearing my car up(before CCW), and write me a citation for 200 dollars. The heinous crime? Leaving my vehicle run unattended in the driveway of a private residence with the parking lights on.

I attempted to file a complaint regarding their conduct and their shift lt. refused to take it simply saying "my officers dont respond to those types of allegations"

Needless to say I have been pretty sour on law enforcement ever since.
I didnt get arrested by the way...when he threatened me with jail and confiscation of vehicle and gun I told him to go ahead and that I would have my freedom, my gun and my vehicle back by the following afternoon along with a lawyer and a civil rights suit. Of course I got the standard lecture "dont ever let me catch you in this city again" Too bad its a free country and I can go where I please.
 

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When I was in highschool, probably 10th grade. I got pulled over 4 times in one day by the same cop. He would literally sit by my house, wait for me, then pull me over. The first time, he let me go with a seatbelt warning, second time he says my window tent was to dark, third time I was at my house with the car stereo on, when I pull out he pulls me over. And the 4th time for having no rear view mirror. The only thing he gave me a ticket for was window tent though. After the 4th time I got smart with him and asked him if there was anything else on the car I should fix so you don't have to pull me over again. He didn't like that, but he never pulled me over again and lives just down the street from me now. I still don't understand why he had it out for me so bad that day, isn't that harassment?
Is it hard to drive with a TENT over your windows? I bet window TINT is cheaper. :bulgy-eyes:
 

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I had 6 thug cops destroy the interior of my car in an illegal search, handcuff me and throw me in the back of a cruiser when I came outside and also threaten to confiscate a legally owned and legally stored and legally transported handgun they found while tearing my car up(before CCW), and write me a citation for 200 dollars. The heinous crime? Leaving my vehicle run unattended in the driveway of a private residence with the parking lights on.

I attempted to file a complaint regarding their conduct and their shift lt. refused to take it simply saying "my officers dont respond to those types of allegations"

Needless to say I have been pretty sour on law enforcement ever since.
Not sure where that happened but that's some Southern-style, Ultra-Conservative policing at it's finest. Incidents like that are one of the main reasons I refuse to live in the South...The things cops get away with "down there" are appalling.
 
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