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the latest miracle drugs

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Fish2day, May 18, 2004.

  1. Fish2day

    Fish2day member

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    St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
    rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

    Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates
    melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers
    and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.

    Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full
    cups swallowed before an evening out increasesbreast size, decreases
    intelligence, and improves flirting.

    Dumerol ... When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause
    dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

    Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road
    rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    Antiboyotics ... When administered to teenage girls,
    is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up
    phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

    Menicillin ... Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance
    to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get
    naked now?"

    Buyagra ... Injectable stimulant taken prior to
    shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

    Extra Strength Buy-one-all ... When combined with Buyagra,
    can cause an indiscriminant buying frenzy so severe the
    victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr.
    Laura.

    Jack Asspirin ... Relieves the headache caused by a man
    who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

    Anti-talksident ... A spray carried in a purse or wallet
    to be used on anyone too eager to share their life
    stories with total strangers.

    Sexcedrin ... Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More
    effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear,
    I have a headache," syndrome.

    Ragamet ... When administered to a husband, provides the
    same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the
    wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

    Men-Gay ... A rub-in ointment that enables single women
    to identify who to cross off the dating pool.
     
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