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The Gung Ho Game Warden

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by papaperch, Dec 4, 2004.

  1. Warden Walls was assigned to his new wifes old hometown. Being a green recruit , he was burning with desire, to show the higher ups just how great he was. While dating his wife , she often talked about Clifford County's legendary poacher. Henry Skinner had a reputation that he was never short of supply of venison. Many previous Wardens , had to be tranferred , because catching Henry soon became an obsession. Some were rumored to have been locked up with other AHHHHHHH disturbed people. Mind you those were only rumors.

    Walls was certain that Henry never dealt with a Warden as dedicated and yes brilliant as he. Walls could just envision his triumph as he and he alone brought this miscreant poacher to justice.

    He planned that the very first bitterly cold morning prior to deer season he would spring his trap. Finally the weather forecast set his plan into action. He announced all over town that he had to attend a school that would bring all the new wardens the latest in enforcement. Only a few people knew the truth. Sunday morning arrived at -18 degree with a bone chilling cold snap along with a brisk wind. At 5:00 AM , warden Walls was hiding on a high ridge overlooking the dark domicile of one Henry Skinner. Finally around 6:30 AM one dim light glowed inside the modest cabin. The Warden was suffering greatly from the cold , but grinned and allowed himself a fantasy of slapping the cuffs on that legend of a poacher. Henry came out on the porch and looked all around. The Warden was well hidden and was sure that he could not be seen. Henry yelled up the holler " Warden you are going to catch your death of cold. Best you get down here and have some hot coffee and some flapjacks. Come on while they are still hot. " The now crestfallen warden slumped down to the cabin. The interesting conversation and the delicious food almost made up for his first defeat.

    Upon his return to his own home he soon began plotting again. This time he would not even tell his wife. He would stay in a nearby town at a hotel that way no one could warn Henry. Once again the morning was bitterly cold , the kind of cold where it hurts to breathe. Henry steps out looks around and yells" Warden Walls its pneumonia you are going to catch this fine morning. Get your self down here. Coffees on and I just made a fresh batch of bearclaws. " the scenario plays out like the first. Warden Walls even developes a grudging liking to the old rascal. But remains determined to still catch him in the act of poaching.

    After another 10 years of trying Warden Walls finally accepts defeat. Many a breakfast has been shared and now a sort of wary friendship has developed.
    One day the hospital calls and the Warden has learned that the Grim Reaper has done what no one else could do . Henry Skinners is not much longer for this world. Warden Walls drives over to the hospital to say good-bye to his more than worthy adversary. Henry feebly shakes hands with his frienly nemesis. Warden confides that he will miss matching wits with Henry. Henry nods and grins that friendly smile of his. Warden says to Henry " If its not too much trouble for you old timer , how in the world did you know when I was lying up there on the ridge. " With great effort, Old Henry struggles up on one of his elbows and weakly whispers " I am 82 years old and for 65 of those years I yelled the same dang speech every morning."