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That left brain,right brain thing...

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by catlover, Feb 1, 2005.

  1. catlover

    catlover Banned

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    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
    What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
    big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.
     
  2. Fastlane

    Fastlane Fishless as usual

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    Ouch....off my chair....onto the floor...... writhing in pain.....tears of laughter streaming down my face... ROTFLMAO!
     

  3. I'll have to rember that one!!!