close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Swedes

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by steelmagoo, Sep 19, 2005.

  1. steelmagoo

    steelmagoo Enjigneer

    Ya, you betcha!
    Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird
    section and Sven says to Hans, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over
    and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere
    little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. The owner puts the
    budgies in a paper bag.

    Hans and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's
    pick-up and drive to the top of the Conor Pass. At the Conor Pass, Sven looks down at the 1000-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place."

    He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps
    off the cliff. Hans watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing
    himself stone dead.

    Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Hans shakes his head and
    says:
    "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."


    BUT WAIT!!!! there's MORE!


    PART TWO:

    Moments later Ole arrives up at Conor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too
    and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one
    hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Hans. Watch dis," Ole says. He takes a
    parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Hans watches as half way down, Ole takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Ole continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

    Hans shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting
    either."

    BUT WAIT!!!!.....There's MORE!!

    PART THREE:

    Hans is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears.
    He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he
    pulls a chicken. Lars then grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his
    head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he
    hits a rock and breaks his spine.

    Once more Hans shakes his head - "First der was Sven with his budgie
    jumping, den Ole parrotshooting ..... and now Lars is hengliding.....
     
  2. those were sooo bad, i'll be telling them all day tomorrow
     

  3. By yuppin" yimmini' I just don't know wut 2 say!
     
  4. Fishing-Miller23

    Fishing-Miller23 It's Miller Time!

  5. Ole and Sven go to the beach. Sven says, "Hey der Ole, none of da girls are lookin' at me. How am I gonna find a gud wife?"

    Ole says, "Sven, put this potato in yer svimsuit and da girls will go crazy over yer."

    Sven does as he's told but the girls are even more repulsed by Sven than they were before (if that was possible). Sven is confused and more than a little sunburnt when he says...

    "Ole, I put da potato in my svimsuit and da girls are running from me faster than da sprint to da outhouse after lutefisk dinner!"

    Ole looks over at Sven with a look of distain reserved solely for the Scandanavian and he says, "Uff da Ole! Ya need ta put da potato in the front of yer svimsuit...not da back."