So a Neutron walks into a bar

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by seethe303, May 27, 2008.

  1. seethe303

    seethe303 Senior Executive Member

    he sits down and asks the bartender, "how much for a beer?"

    the barkeep replies, "for you? ....no charge."

    ...

    A bit later, a proton walks into the same bar, and says "I'll have a quadruple whisky, please."

    "A quadruple - are you sure?" asks the bartender.

    "I'm positive."
     
  2. freyedknot

    freyedknot useless poster

    same things happen to a old pice of rope the first gets denied because he just and old pice of rope the gets his because he a freyedknot
     

  3. Gone Fission

    Gone Fission Ancient Member

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    Ahhh physics jokes...my favorite
     
  4. Reminds me of this one:

    Two salesman are walking their dogs one day. It's a really hot day so they decide to stop and get a cold one. Sign in front of the bar states no pets allowed. One salesman says" Well I guess we'll have to go somewhere else."
    Second salesman says "No just follow my lead."

    He walks in and the bartender says "He buddy no pets allowed, didn't you see the sign?" Salesman says "Nope I'm blind, this here is my seeing eye dog." Bartender says "A pit bull is a seeing eye dog?" Salesman says "Yea, they are training pit bulls now because we are susceptable to crime and these dogs can proctect us." Bartender says "OK have a seat."

    Second salesman walks in and again the bartender says "Hey didn't you read the sign, no pets allowed." Second salesman says "It's my seeing eye dog, I'm blind." Bartenbder says " A chihuahua is a seeing eye dog?"
    Salesman (acting blind) feels around in mid-air and says "WHAT THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA !!!"
     
  5. A fat lady holding a duck walks into a bar. There's a drunken rabbit on the first bar stool. He leans over and says "hey, you can't bring a pig in here"

    The lady says "excuse me, this is a duck"

    To which the rabbit replies "I was talking to the duck"
     
  6. A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuffed into the front of his pants. The Bartender says "hey buddy did you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?" The Pirate replies Arrr and it be driving me nuts!!
     
  7. Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.
     
  8. 'Rude Dog

    'Rude Dog 'Tusc River Rat

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    An old farmer rides the local bus into town on Saturday morning, to pay bills, and get supplies, while in town, he purchases a goose to take back to the farm. Being a hot day, he decides to go to the movie theatre, and watch a matinee, while waiting for the bus back to the farm- he goes in the theatre, stuffs the goose down his bib overalls , unziping the fly to allow the goose to breathe- midway through the show, Gertrude and Ethel sit down next to him -Gertrude says to Ethel - Look that dirty old man has his pants unzippped !!! Ethel replies, ah, you seen one, you've seen 'em all - but Gertrude excalimed " but this one was eating my popcorn !!!!
     
  9. A proton walks into a bar looking sad. The bar keep asks him what happened, And the proton relplies I lost my Electron today. The bar keep looking very concerned asks the proton if he is sure. The proton replies, "Im positive"
     
  10. TightLine

    TightLine Member

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    a termite walks into a bar and asks 'is the bar tender here"?
     
  11. katfish

    katfish Cats are where it's at!

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    A bear walks into a bar and swiftly grabs up a skinny woman and eats her.

    The bartender screams Get Out! No drugs in here!

    The bear says I don't have drugs.

    The bartender says: That was a bar bitch you ate!