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Showering woman/man....

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Hoss5355, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. This is funny but oh so true....

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
    hamper according to lights and darks.
    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
    see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
    mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
    cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
    with 43 added vitamins.
    wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
    enhanced.
    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
    10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
    cake body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.
    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower.
    Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
    on head.
    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
    areas.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    How To Shower Like a Man
    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
    and leave them in a pile.
    Walk naked to the bathroom.
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
    making the 'woo-woo' sound.
    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
    Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your
    armpits.
    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
    them off.
    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    Spend majority of time washing privates and
    surrounding area.
    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck
    on the soap.
    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
    Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
    hanging out of tub the whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
    fan on.
    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
    and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
    Throw wet towel on bed.
    If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the
    truth behind this, there is something so very wrong.
     
  2. that's the way it's done around my house
     

  3. fffffish

    fffffish Muskie 1 Trolling Thunder

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    So True thats how it works here
     
  4. ncraft150

    ncraft150 Buckeye-Basser

    The only thing different at my house is the Man drops his underware to his feet and flips them intothe air with his foot and catches them. Even my 6 year old does this every night. It's really funny watching my 3 year old try.
     
  5. Stampede

    Stampede The Fish Feeder

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    Need some help,in more ways than one.I really want to send this joke to a friend but can't figure out how.I tried to cut and paste ,and it will let me paste it into the e-mail box but it won't send it.Is there another way?Maybe Hoss5355,you could send it to me as an e-mail.I know it will work that way as i've done it before.
     
  6. wally72

    wally72 wally72

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    Have you tried to go to the thread tools right above this post and sending it that way. Thats the way I send stuff. This is one of the best I've read on here I was laughing all the time I was reading it. Its all to true. Good luck Wally72
     
  7. I sent it in an email, so hopefully it worked. If not, email me back and I'll send an email through another account.

    Kevin
     
  8. Fishman

    Fishman Catch bait???

    LOL! I do the underwear flip to the hands also... here I thought I was special :D
     
  9. I dont understand why my wife is never impressed with my underwear flip. If i'm really doing good I can turn around and catch them behind my back!
     
  10. tpet96

    tpet96 Banned

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    Too Much Information Tom :D
     
  11. Yeah Hoss, TOO much information is right. I know its intended as a joke but you should keep how many times you "shake your wiener" in the shower to yourself.
     
  12. Head Master there is no shame in shaking your own wiener, it's just when you go and cross the line and try to shake other peoples that you run into trouble.....but I'm sure you've already found that out.... :D