Question for the parents...new and old

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by soua0363, Aug 6, 2008.

  1. soua0363

    soua0363 Master of Nothing

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    My wife and I have been contemplating starting a family but to be truthful, we got/get scared when we look into what daycare is running now a days. My question to those that have both husband and wife working the same shift with no family living close by to help, how do you come up with about the extra $1000 a month to pay for daycare? In both my wife and I's case, we can only work 8-5 as she works in the banking industry and I am project manager in the construction field so there is no one working first and the other working third shift.

    I am at the point where I am thinking that when we do decide to start a family is to get a part-time job. Any inputs or advice would greatly be appreciated.
     
  2. not saying quit your job and jump on welfar but maybe the county can help you out with something they have set up cheaper
     

  3. Mushijobah

    Mushijobah Urban Angler

    Simply start a family when you can comfortably do it. Don't rush into it if it will ruin all your lives financially (leading to other problems) down the road.

    Not a parent, but that is what intelligent people who are parents have always told me.
     
  4. I have no idea how people do it. We're lucky cause my wife works part-time on a different shift so we don't need daycare. To be completely honest with you I think you and your wife need to sit down and seriously decide if it is even in your best interests for both of you to keep your job. I have no idea what either of you make but if you think about it, you may actually be better off if one of you quits and only works part time so you have less time to pay day care to watch your child. Lets say one of you makes $2000 per month and $1000 is going to daycare. You'd be just as well off if one of you gets a part time job with a different shift that only makes $1000 per month. Plus you would have more time with your child and know how your kid is being raised. Just something to think about.
     
  5. ScottB

    ScottB SW Ohio

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    It is expensive but one thing to consider is that you can get a tax credit (not just a deduction!) for child care of up to $3000 per kid ($6000 max) depending on your income. (http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p503.pdf) That may help ease the pain a little bit.

    You might also try looking at local churches. I have seen several that offer daycare, they might be a little cheaper than a large franchised daycare center. Just make sure you research the place well, your little kids well being isn't something to pinch pennies with.

    Good luck, kids are worth the expense.
     
  6. no ofense to mushijoba...... Waiting isn't always what it's cracked up to be either. (assuming that we are talking about a maried couple with a good relationship)


    Anyhow, when we adopted our son we put him in an "at-home" daycare. We chose this option on a refferial since she was the good friend of a good friend. About a year later my wife lost her job. Since then she has become a stay at home mom. My wife babysat another little one for a while for some extra $ but that ended when we adopted our seccond. Since then money has been tight, a little tighter than when my wife was working.

    There are 110 answers to this question for 110 diferent families. If you both make enough money a lifestyle change may be all that is needed. Children change your whole perspective on life and the world. All of a sudden an older car is OK and it dosen't have to be the coolest on the block either........

    A lot of my female co-workers have left work after they started their family, others have family to help out, and others are in a situation where both incomes minus childcare is what works for them.

    Side note on daycare: We busted our tails so we could pay somone else to raise our child for 9 hours a day. Rush rush rush.....get home do dinner play for a few minuites before bath time and bed time. It felt like we only got to see our son on the weekends. In our case the quality time was worth doind a single income deal for a few years.
     
  7. i heard once "if people waited till the right time to have kids, there would be no kids"

    that said, i understand how hard it is to have all the expenses of children, thank god for my family for their help.

    It sounds like you two have thought it out and tells me you are ready for a child, you will figure out the rest as it comes. Everything in life is a choice and sometimes you will find that you give up some to get some. Start keeping your eye out for a good daycare option-

    Oh and for what it's worth - now is a good time to get busy because you will have a spring birthday....great time to buy fishing stuff for your little one!!!!!!

    good luck with whatever you decide!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2015
  8. I wouldn't trade being a parent for the world. The baby years then the 7-12 years (my favorite) now the adolesence/teens are quite interesting. But the teaching them to fish to catching their first fish, teaching them to hunt then their first turkey and first deer, coaching them in sports and all of this while I was young enough to physically handle it all. I am 44 now and my youngest of 3 boys just turned 11 and just knowing that hes it makes me feel fulfilled as a father/husband. Its not all easy there were slim times but after you make it past the baby years its a blast. Now when I have grandkids I will still be young enough to do the things I like to do today with them. We chose the part time for the wife which I feel is less stressfull for all involved.
     
  9. jeffmo

    jeffmo officially unofficial!!!!

    you just manage to manage!
    that's the best advice i could give.
    the rewards are endless!
     
  10. All that I can suggest it to leave a little area for change also. When our first was born, my wife (who was always career minded) decided that she could not leave the baby with someone else...soo... we budgeted off of my main job, and I picked up a part time (Sat & Sun) to help make ends meet. When my wife was ready to go back to work, she found a part time evening & Saturday job, so I was able to quit my second. It worked for us... sometimes it was tough, but everything has worked out for us.....Good Luck ! ! ! ! !
     
  11. 1000 a month seems high to me. I would check with everyone who watches newborns. dont just look for cost but someone or place you will be happy to leave yourchild with. We will be having our third next week and I can not wait. If you want to start a family you just have to set a good budget and try to live by it. It will be the greatest thing that happens in your lives. Good Luck
     
  12. corndawg

    corndawg Go Bulldogs!!!

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    Pretty much the same as what Stoshu posted. My wife and I both had good jobs when we had our first child. She has a bachelor’s degree and worked at Sherwin William and I have a manager job. Never planned our first child, it just sorta happened. We found a good day care and she would drop the baby off before going to work. I remember my wife telling me that every time she dropped the baby off at the day care she (my wife) would cry. It got to the point that it was killing her to leave the baby plus we both felt that we were missing out on the baby growing up and the wonderful daily discoveries that we would not be able to share with the baby (let alone the fact that the only people we really trusted with the baby was ourselves).

    Anyhow, she ended up quitting her job and stayed home with the baby. Best choice we ever made for her sanity and mine. She got a part time job and I pretty much carried the family. Living was lean for a while as we ended up with three children all raised at home. Make no mistake, kids are expensive but the joy they give makes it worth every penny. Now she’s back to work full time and we’re close to the lifestyle we enjoy. The way we figured it, the money will still be there to be made but you can never recoup the children’s growing years that are missed.
     
  13. We just had our first and let me tell you, you'll never be 100% ready. Like previosly stated, it changes everything the minute they are born. More than you can imagine. Priorities and other thing change like crazy. My wife has a great job, and I'm self-employed so I can make my schedule. My wife will return to work after 12 weeks off. We found a great baby sitter from with a multitude of referrals. She's been doing this for 19 years professionally, and only $100/wk. The nearest family we have is 2 hours away. Really look into some of the daycares as there are tons of hidden costs. Not all are as nice as they seem. Also, get on waiting lists EARLY. We found that out a little late. Some didn't have newborn openings till next year. Best of luck and you'll never be ready!;)
     
  14. Just remember this, no matter what there is NO person that will care for your child the way you and your wife will. So if there is any way possible for you to make it on one income so one of you can stay at home and raise your child do it. Its not easy but the cut backs you make will be worth it, believe me. We went from a 2 person family with 2 incomes to a 3 person family with 1 income, it was not easy but we adjusted. We cut back on everything and are getting by just fine.
     
  15. You and your wife have all the answers, you just haven't figured them out yet. We adopted my son when he was 4 months old, he is now an English Professor working in Ecuador and is to be married in December. I am extremely proud of him as he has become a fine man. As the years go on you will be very glad you decided to have children the rewards are worth all costs. Good luck to you and your wife.
     
  16. Lewzer

    Lewzer Powderfinger

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    My wife and I both worked for 13 years after we were married. Saved up and paid off the bills. We did that so she could stay home and not worry about someone else raising our child.
    Luckily for us, Aetna closed the Akron office and sent the work to Hyperabad, India. She got layed off got her severance and then unemployment.
    I think waiting was the best for us. We raise our child ourselves plus we got to live our lives and have fun (fish) while we were still young. All that stuff is out of the system and we are a little more mature, patient and appreciative of our daughter.
    Downside, I have to delay my retirement at 55 since she will still be in high school.:(
     
  17. You are experiencing the exact same things that my wife and I discussed prior to attempting a pregnancy. Sure..a grand a month sounds like a lot of money...but trust me, if you are both working and make reasonable financial decisions every day, the money is there for daycare.

    We spent in excess of $5k just to get my wife pregnant...and low and behold we were blessed with not one...but two children at the same time. My wife is a school teacher, and we needed her to return to work, so about a month after the kids were born, we began interviewing potential employees to take care of our children in our home. Found an absolute gem of a lady who was looking for steady work and in 5 years she never complained at all.

    I disagree to some degree with the statement above that said.."if your wife is bringing in $2k a month, and it costs you $1k in daycare...she might as well stay home..."

    That grand comes in handy...considering if it wasn't THERE AT ALL....and that was the EXACT situation that we faced when my wife returned to work. Sure, her one check paid for daycare...but the other paid for most of the mortgage.

    My kids will start kindergarten in three weeks. My oh my how the time did fly. Sure...we would have had more money (to spend) if the kids weren't here...but man, I couldn't imagine what it would be like without them.


    Best of luck. Plan accordingly, be up front with your wife regarding your thoughts and feelings, and get ready for the greatest thing to ever happen to you in your life.
     
  18. where there is a will there is a way, when me and my wife had our son, we was lucky that we had family and friends to help with watching our son, but we did do the daycare thing, it is expensive but the interaction with the other children is well needed for social growth, when it happens things will be rough, but will be very happy at the same time and you will figure it all out, somethings cant be planned, and somethings can, but in the end you will figure it all out and everything will be fine, atleast that is from my experience with my son.
     
  19. There is a lot of great advice in here to chew and ultimately it will come down to a decision based on you and your wife's career goals and family expectations. Some folks value their career enough to make the sacrifices needed to maintain their job throughout. Others choose to put the career goals aside for a few years and take care of the early baby years themselves. We were very fortunate with the first two boys that we had my parents willing to help out. They had no idea how much they were helping out financially as it would have have amounted to several thousand a year. When our third boy came along my wife decided she wanted to stay at home with him. Although we still had the parents available we are very happy that we were able to do that from a financial perspective.

    As I said, I think it obviously is a question that needs to be answered by you and your wife. But if I had it to do over again and my wife wanted to stay at home again I would welcome it.

    Many, many times I have scratched my head and wondered how families were able to do it with daycare costs. Someone mentioned that the $1,000 sounded high but I was thinking that it sounded rather low. That is only $50/day and I don't know of anywhere around here to get that price. In fact a colleague just mentioned to me a couple of days ago that she was going to have to start putting her baby in daycare soon and it was going to cost them $100/day. That seems to be closer to the numbers that I always hear folks paying. Personally I would probably assume $1,500 a month as a budgeted amount and go from there. Someone mentioned another good option that perhaps if your wife stayed home she could maybe watch another baby at the same time. If you knew someone in the same situation I would think getting $50 a day from them would not be a problem if the going rate is higher than that.

    Someone else mentioned the tax credits and deductions that come along with the child. Do not overlook that in your budgeting as it does make a big difference. If you itemize your taxes there is a deduction that you can take for the daycare costs as well. You need to take last year's tax return and do some "what-if's" to get a feel for what it would do.

    Hopefully something in this thread will help out. Good luck to you. Having kids is a wonderful experience and I would hate to think that someone was not able to experience it because of financial reasons.
     
  20. A coupple mor bits.....

    If you consider the one parent at home scenerio, don't overlook YOU being the at home parent. I've had a few friends do this and it works for them. One is an older couple who already had kids and needed to relocate for job reasons. The wife found a better position than the husband, and was ready for a change after raising a coupple children as a stay at home mom. The wife of another couple is a pharmasist and had a better salary/benefits package. In the third family, the husband is a better personality fit to deal with the semi-controled chaos that children are.

    Also, With one parent at home you don't need to worry about what to do when your child is sick, or the daycare is closed for whatever reason. That was one headache I definatly don't miss.

    And since you are in the construction industry, presuming you are a handy and fairly skilled guy, you could probably pick up some odd jobs prety easily to give yourself a break and add to the coffers a bit.