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540 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear Diary,

· June 1st: Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that
knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is
beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

· June 14th:Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun

· June 30th:Had the backyard landscaped with western plants
today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more
mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

· July 10th:The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How
do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy
though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

· July 15th:Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree
burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to
do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate
like this.

· July 20th:I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when
I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita
had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like
a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned
my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes

· July 25th:The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order parts.

· July 30th:Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now,
$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why
did I ever come here?

· Aug. 4th:Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate
this stupid state.

· Aug. 8th:If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you
today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to
work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like baked cat!!

· Aug. 9th:Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts,
and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire.
My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair
on the back of my legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair,
fried ass, and baked cat.

· Aug 10th:The weather report might as well be a damn recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do
**** for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing
will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow
over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

· Aug. 14th:Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today.
Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what
he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend
$1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you
know how the trial goes.

Premium Member
10,898 Posts
I have family in Texas and most of the time they like it, but this 2 year drought and lakes being 6 ft low has left their boat dock on dry ground and then add what I think is now 21 days in a row of over 100 degrees and they are not so happy right now.

I visit my mother there every March and October for the last 18 years. I do not want to visit in the summer just due the excessive heat

Senior Member
1,915 Posts
Hot enough for ya!! Sorry couldn't resist. It's humid and sticky here,been to Texas and couldn't wait to get back home.hope things work out for you.

Will Yak For Food
2,947 Posts
All that heat and Texans too? Sounds like a nightmare. :D--Tim............................................................................................................................................................... Common chimpanzee Snout Organism Primate


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