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Nursing home alternative.

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Row v. Wade, Oct 29, 2004.

  1. There will be no nursing home in my future........ When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
    1. Gratuities, which will only be $10 per day.
    2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
    3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night!

    4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
    5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
    6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
    7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
    8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
    9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

    Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, the Caribbean, Mexico, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

    P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
  2. Thats All Great.......but........will They Change Your Diaper When You Need It Changed?

  3. steelmagoo

    steelmagoo Enjigneer

    Maybe they won't change my diaper, but if it gets to that point maybe they'll help me to the rail so I can jump.
  4. ARGEE, I'm not sure if Princes cruise line adheres to ADA but I'm sure with a couple extra buck, you'll find someone to ahhh ...........Lend a hand? :D

    Steelmagoo, this is the Princes Cruise lines, not the Achille Lauro cruise ship where Leone Klinghoffer met his fate. :eek: