mooching brother in law

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by sam kegg, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. beware!!!! 6 months ago i let my girl friends brother move in to my house, he lost his job and was kicked outta his apartment,i told him he could stay there until he was back on his feet. well 4 months goes buy and all he does is sit on his but and plays wow. (world of war craft) for about 12 hours a day. never tries to get a job doesnt help out around the house, doesnt help pay the bills. and eats my food. i told him that he had a month to start paying or get out. month goes buy. no payment no nothing. then i gave him 1 month more to move out. well that month is up and he is just starting to move his stuff out. his mommy called me and asked if he could have a lil more time. i said no he has had 2 months to find a place. well now there hole family is mad at me, and im the bad guy. in fact he told them all that i was an ass and that im not being fair.. he and his mom think i should take car of him. mind you he is 28 years old . come on give me a break! he has done this to a few people and im not going to enable him to do this to me,,,what has happen to people these days. i have been on my own since i was 17. people just dont wanna help them selfs...... so moral of this story. beware of inlaws
     
  2. You're a great guy. After the first ultimatum, I'd kicked him out and not wasted a second doing it. Family wants to raise him, let him go back to mamas house.
     

  3. Family happens and you handled the situation well. Just wish more parents knew how to raise their kids to be adults rather than dependants.
     
  4. misfit

    misfit MOD SQUAD

    been there,done that(stepson in his 30's).i did what i had to do,and in the end it was a deciding factor in my ex divorcing me.but i'm better off without both of them now:)

    tell the family since they think it's ok for you to support him,then they should have no problem doing it themselves.
     
  5. Different game, and was a friend over the internet we had move in. Well same story for the most part all he did was eat our food, watch tv, and play everquest every other waking second of his life. After 3 months we turned off the internet into his room during the day. He actually went out looking for jobs, but never did find one. We turned his connection back on after a week and he returned to online gaming every minute of his day for 12-20 hours a day. Wouldnt even mow the yard, feed the dog, or do the dishes, and we had a dishwasher. His mom came shortly after helped him pack and out the door he went. soooo no i dont feel sorry for your mooching brother-in-law, and hope you dont let it get to ya.
     
  6. DaleM

    DaleM Original OGF Staff Member

    It's called tough love. I had my son move out because he was doing the same thing. He trys every so often to get me to "help" him out. Doesn't work any longer. You did the right thing.
    Hold your head high, you tried to help him, but like what usually happens they take advantage.

    You have your own family to care for. When you married you didn't agree to take care of her family. The better or worse part was for her not the relatives!
     
  7. welll he was on the pc when got home,, so i turned it off , said keep movin!! dont need to play on the interent..... ya know the irs should let me claim him on my taxes,, some people. well i hope my lil story helps someone make the right choice when this type of thing comes up...
     
  8. You did the right thing.
    I was going to tell you my place is hiring but not after all i've read. We have recently let guys go in their late 20's that have the same attitude. They have no work ethics at all. They complain about this and that and tell us they really need a job but can't manage to come to work. Good luck to you.
     
  9. I helped an inlaw one time.....He did almost 4 years in the pen.
     

  10. I agree. I would tell the family member that has been the most outspoken on the subject that since they are so concerned with his well being that you are helping him move his stuff (and him) over to their house. You'll be over in fifteen minutes.
     
  11. jeffmo

    jeffmo officially unofficial!!!!

    you'll actually be helping him if toss him out!
    until he's made to stand on his own two feet and take of himself he'll keep letting you do it for him.
    a few nights in the shelter should change his outlook quite a bit!
     
  12. Seaturd

    Seaturd Catcher of Fish

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    Been there. Shortly after being married my x's sister moves in with us for "three days". During those three days she lost her job and totaled her car while driving drunk. The three days turned to three months and seemed to always have a variety of slimeball houseguests showing up at all hours. She paid nothing towards rent, utlilities or phone bill all the while keeping our heat set at a ridiculous temp and quadrupling our phone bill. We finally gave her an ultimatum after giving her numerous chances - her and her crap gone by the weekend or else we were moving it to the street. she got out with just hours to spare.

    You've been more than generous in my opinion.
     
  13. yea im just glad he's out. it was driving a wedge between my girlfirnd and i,, they like to throw her in the middle,,
     
  14. feb of 2006 let the wifes sisters x-husband move in to save money to by his own place. the first three months he was looking for houses, but that slowly tapered off to nothing now. he does pay 400 a month, but every other week his two boys come over and eat me out of house and home. the wife and i cook during the week and he just sits on the couch and then when the foods done gets up and eats, but at least he does the dishes. he won't clean around the house unless he is told or asked. he got laid off the week of thanksgiving and now the sitting around has doubled and is pissing me the #%$#% off. his work is not going to call him back and he knows that, but do you think he is looking for a job NO. i hate to kick a fellow out, but this is getting old. the wife and i are going to tell him he has till march first and that is it!!!!!!!! you try to help some one out and three years later they still want to stay. he has no motivation to look or find a place to live, like he thinks we are going to let him stay forever. can't wait till he is out of here and to house is mine again.:mad: :mad: :mad:
     
  15. monsterKAT11

    monsterKAT11 Team Fatty

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    i'd tell the family you've learned your lesson and next time you'll avoid the whole situation from saying no from the start, with that and any other favors they have the opportunity they have to be ungrateful about
     
  16. cantsleep

    cantsleep 3rd shift blues

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    I feel for you. I just gave my son the same ultimatum, three months of not even looking for a job is just too much. I told him I don't mind giving a hand up, but I draw the line at hand out.
     
  17. rolland

    rolland Fishing Noob

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    been there done that. It is tough, thats for sure. But blood is thicker then water, or $. If I ever fell on hard times I would not hesitate to ask my family, but I would deffinitly be on the job trail or doing whatever I needed to do to improve my situation. If they are on the computer 12-16 hours a day mabie the solution would be getting them to talk to someone and make sure there mental health is ok. I have seen first hand a depressed person get wrapped up on internet games and totally out of reality. I know the old timers or people that have never played games like everquest, wow, uo.... would not understand but for $15 a month these companys build a civilization where a loser can be a hero and ignore the world around them. The problem may not be lazyness it may be depression, its more common than you may think.
     
  18. good point rolland.... but from what ive seen. he does this to every one who lets him live at there house,,, in the summer he plays softball about 4 times a week, i offered him a job that would fall into his softball but only once a week and he said no.,plus when i told him he had to stand allot at this job he said hell no!!! he doesnt stand for work,,now thats just lazy!!! so you see i think hes a con... says he's getting a job and will help. 6 months later he acts like you owe him something., for the record of where he has lived, moms.. step dads, moms. uncles. moms, sister. my house, now he is back at his moms,, 6 months to a year,,, and screwed them all over,.... well. my problem is over and my girl friend and i can move on.. house feels better already.
     
  19. monsterKAT11

    monsterKAT11 Team Fatty

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    sounds like might have something to do with the mom, teaching him that doing that is ok, and continuously giving him a place to stay
     
  20. Just to be safe...I'd change the locks!