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Mars & Venus

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by ncraft150, Jul 29, 2004.

  1. ncraft150

    ncraft150 Buckeye-Basser

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
    have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
    their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
    thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."


    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
    it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
    enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
    who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
    different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
    so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
    We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I
    was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
    because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
    to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier".

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
    feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
    while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
    for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
  2. why she doesn't like your boat!!

  3. Amen Brother, My Wife Got A Kick Out Of That.
    But That Describes My First Wife To A T. No, No, No, I Hear That.great Comeback.