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jokes

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by firelands, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. 1.) One tequila, two tequila, three tequilla, floor

    2.) Atheism is a non-prophet organization

    3.)If man evolved from monkeys and apes why do we still have monkeys and apes?

    4.) The main reason Santa is so jolly is he knows where all the bad girls live!

    5.)I went to a bookstore and asked the saleslady where all the self help books were. She told me,"If I told you it would defeat the purpose".

    6.) What if therewere no hypothetical questions?

    7.)If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap.

    8.)If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    9.)Is there another word for synonym?

    10.)Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all"?

    11.)What do you do when you see and endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    12.)If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

    13.) Would a fly without wings be called a "walk"?

    14.)Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    15.)If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?

    16.)Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    17.)If police arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    18.)Why do they put Braille on drive-through bank machines?

    19.)How do they get deer to cross the road at those yellow signs?

    20.) What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    21.) One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people!

    22.) Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

    23.) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultrey?

    24.) How is it possible to have a civlil war?

    25.)If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

    26.) If you ate both pasta and antipasto would you still be hungry?

    27.) If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

    28.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it?

    29.)Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of assteroids?

    30.) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?

    31.) Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

    32.) If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disorientated?

    33.) Can an atheist get insurance against "acts of God?"
     

  2. How do you grow seedless watermelon if they have no seeds?

    I've always wondered why they have braille on atm machines.LOL
     
  3. 28.) " Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it? "


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
     
  4. steelmagoo

    steelmagoo Enjigneer

    Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
     
  5. why do we say the alarm went off when it really went on.
     
  6. midoh39

    midoh39 member

    1,148
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    I've always wondered about number 18