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Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by DaleM, May 9, 2004.

  1. DaleM

    DaleM Original OGF Staff Member

    Comedian Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio: You may be from Ohio (pronounced
    > > ah-hi-uh)
    > > > if:
    > > >
    > > >
    > > >
    > > > You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
    > > > You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and
    > > > construction.
    > > > You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
    > > > You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
    > > > "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means south."
    > > > You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as
    > > they
    > > > open their mouths.
    > > > You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,
    >Tuscarawas,
    > > > Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.
    > > > "Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer
    > > > hunting in the fall.
    > > > You measure distance in minutes.
    > > > Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
    > > > Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
    > > > You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
    > > > You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
    > > > You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:
    >"Where's
    > > my
    > > > coat at?"
    > > > You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
    > > > unlocked.
    > > > You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O
    > > > salad with marshmallows.
    > > > You carry jumper cables in your car.
    > > > You know what 'pop' is.
    > > > You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
    > > > Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
    >snow.
    > > > You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
    > > > The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page
    > > but
    > > > requires 6 pages for sports.
    > > > If you actually get these jokes -- then forward 'em to your OHIO
    >friends.
    > > >
    > > > _________________________________________________________________
     
  2. H2O Mellon

    H2O Mellon Hangin' With My Gnomies

    The sad thing is that all that is true.