i need some advice

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by icefisherman4life, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. last wed. night my wife and i were rear ended. nothin big. just a couple scratches on the bumper no biggy. i was real nice to the lady who hit us and at first she was kind to me. the cop shows up and says you can either exchange info or i can write a report. so i say i want a report made just to be on the safe side. so thats when the lady starts gettin a little crappy with me. she starts taken pictures of my bumper and spitt'n on her hand and wipe'n it with her bare hand it was kind of funny. so we leave and didnt think nothin of it. so i leave for gun season on sunday and i get a call from my wife monday afternoon shes freakin out she says she gets a call from a private number answers it and here its the ladys husband who rear ended me. he starts freakin out wantin to meet me and hes goin off on my wife. so she tells him to calm down and stuff and he keeps freakin out so she tells him im not home right now. she lied and said i was at work. and so he says thats fine im commin over to your house and said some threating things. so im gone in the middle of nowhere and this guy is threaten'n to come to my house where my wife is all alone and try and do something from what i understand. she calls the cops and the cops say its prolly no big deal but they would patrol around our house. so my question to you is if your wife was at home all alone and a guy threatens to come to your house and hes all pissed off what would you do about it? my wife dont want me to contact him but in my gut i wanna go to his house and beat the livin crap out of him for actin like a moron. so what do you guys suggest that i do. sorry its so long but the more i think about it the more ticked i get. thanks
  2. Walleye Mafia

    Walleye Mafia Proud Walleye Addict

    It would be one thing to call and threaten me, but to call my wife (who was home alone) Thats where I would draw the line!!!! Im shicked the police didnt take any info about the guy!

  3. cantsleep

    cantsleep 3rd shift blues

    First, tell her to keep the doors and windows locked and to not open them for ANYONE she doesn't know.
    Second, if he does show up, she must immediately call 911. It is helpful that they already know something of the situation.
    Third, and I'm gonna hear some crap for this, do you have a firearm and does she know how to use it?
    Last, DO NOT START ANYTHING! So far it sounds like you've done everything correctly, you don't want to give the other party something they can use against you if this goes to court.
    Sorry about your situation, and I hope everything turns out O.K.
  4. fish master

    fish master 2005 senior member

    most likely all talk but there is a law that she can protect herself and her home,if he does happen to do sumthing contact a lawyer sue the crap out of him for harresment. put up private property signs if u own ur home so if he does come onto ur land have him arrested.
  5. 1. Make sure you dont have a some injury, whiplash, etc. It's not uncommon for these things to appear days later. If you have any damage to your car, or if you or your wife suffer any pain contact a lawyer immediately. (In fact, you might want to contact now) Also, if some legal action is to be taken it is imperative you do not speak to this person (or his wife) or anyone about the incident.
    2. Don't be suprised if his/her insurance company calls you to "settle". Again, I wouldn't deal w/ an adjuster directly, have your lawyer do it for you.
    3. Make a report of the threats (sounds like u did) because if this behavior continues (the frequency of threats, etc.) this could turn into a crime, thus, you need to continue to report this stuff to the police. You may also wish to consult an attorney to determine whether you and your wife are eligible for a civil stalking protection order.
    4. i would advise against talking to this person. I understand you would like to send a message, "back off", however I would not communicate with this person. seeing as you know who it is (and have an accident report containing his phone # and home addres) it would be nice if the police would've contacted him, asked about the unlawful threats, and told him to back off. Or, if you have to take some legal action---let your lawyer do the talk'n, you stay quiet.
  6. thanks guys. we have guns actually alot of em and they are loaded in the house not to worry no kids or anything like that. she knows how to use em too. i told my wife i had no intention of gettin in touch with a lawyer at all but now that hes gonna act like a arse im gonna start lookin. wont be hard since the accident we get about 10 letters a day from different ones. its a good thing i didnt come home monday from huntin cuz i prolly woulda went to his house with the slug gun ready. i was one pissed off crazy redneck monday. good thing i stayed down there. the thing that really pisses me off is that i was nothin but nice to his wife at the accident. my wife on the other hand was pissy so she stayed in the car the whole time. i just think that guy is a douche' bag.
  7. Some good advice so far one thing that was not mentioned is to write everything down on paper dates times what was,who said it.
    I hope your wife told him not to call back, if she did it will only take another call and you can have him charged with telephone harrassment.

    I wouldn't be suprised if his wife didn't tell him the truth about the situation if thats the kind of abuse she puts up with on a daily basis.
  8. Fish2day

    Fish2day member

    Having firearms available and knowing how to use them is all well and good. But when it comes down to having to pull the trigger, that's when most people freeze up. It is hard to do without proper training.
    Like you, I'd be pretty pee'd off, but after that response from the police I'd be heading to the "cop house" and having a real heart to heart with the chief, the mayor, my city councilman. Their main job is your protection. Some bully "AH" threatens your wife while you are out of town ..... NOT ACCEPTABLE. The police inaction: TOTALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE! Same thing for the poster whose house was nearly broken into. "Nothing we can do" is just the negative attitude we taxpayers don't need from our public servants. :mad:

    Ok, I know ....this from a guy who lives in a town where the ex police chief barricades himself in his house :rolleyes:
  9. i hate to admit it and my friends would vouch but imma pro at these LOL with my past younger history,

    by no means should the husband of the woman have any reason to contact you, from here on out speak only to the insurance company, being it was a fender bender, ohiou_98 is correct minor injuries will pop up at a later time (sometimes not all the time) the problem with whiplash is it is a very hard injury to prove, with that said, i disagree with getting lawyer, 1- things will be dragged out, 2-the compensation, pain & suffering and inconvience will be less than $1500 totall for the both of you, the only way it would be more and worth to get a lawyer is if there was serious injury, now if they start playing hard ball and refuse to do anything, thats when i would proceed to get a lawyer.

    Watch for rubber stamped checks, these will have a rubber stamp on the back where you would sign, this is a trick to release the insurer of paying for any medical bills and only the bill to fix the vehicle.

    the best advice on the phone call thing, cops have been notified, there is a means for you both to protect yourself, if the person calls again, inform him that your calling the cops and your pressing harassement charges against him, call your phone provider and get a copy of your phone records, also use a hand held recorder if he calls.

    your doing the right thing, just deal with the insurance company only and noone else and i dont feel sorry for the fool if he shows up on your door step!!!
  10. fishingguy

    fishingguy The Inferior Fisherman

    Get an attorney immediately! I was rear ended some years ago, my first call was to my attorney. Only thing to do. Protect yourself.
  11. imalt

    imalt Banned

    this happened to my wife a couple months ago. I did get a lawyer because my wife hurt her shoulder and because immediately the insurance company called me telling me this is what they would give me and that was my only choice. Once they found out I had a lawyer they quickly changed their attitude. Most lawyer will work for a percentage of your claim so there is no harm in getting a lawyer. Especially with how crooked insurace companies are today. And is absolutely ridiculous how the police are so uncaring in todays world knowing all the whack jobs out there in the world. For someone to threaten your wife and them to act like it is no big deal is an absolute joke. I know I will get heat for this but i think the majority of law enforcement officials are an absolute joke and could care less about the public that pays their salary.
  12. The best advise given to you has been to contact a lawyer and check to see if the call to the police department is now on record. DON"T take matters into your own hands!
    I was hit from behind while stopped for a red light. Had to go to the hospital as my neck was uncomfortable. That minor discomfort became quite painful after several days so I sought additional medial assistance. I was never contacted personally by the insuance company of the person that hit me. Instead, I received a check in the mail and then contacted daily and asked why I had not cashed it. At that point in time I decided to enlist the service of a lawyer and let him/them handle and advise me, while all through this I was undergoig treatments for my neck. It took 9 months befor my neck was pain free but with limited motion turning right. It took 18 months reach a settlement which in no way covered the continued discomfort I experienced. I still have limited motion when turning my head to the right, 44 years later:( .

  13. Two questions popped into my mind.

    1) You were "in the middle of nowhere" when you got the call from your wife-did you come home right away?
    2) What if the guy frequents OGF and is reading this?

  14. to answer question #2... if he is on here im sure he has alot of people that dont like him ;)
  15. imalt

    imalt Banned

    everyone knows an ogf member would never do anything like that:)
  16. That would be nice. He would realize how stupid he acted.
  17. to answer the questions i was about 2hrs away. and had already paid for a hotel and had buddies counting on me to be there but they understood if i wanted to leave. my wife said for me to stay there because we have alot of family that live within blocks of my house in case something were to happen. i appreciate all the replys guys. the only thing about gettin a lawyer that turns me off is i hate how shiesty and and stuff they are. but if they help i guess its cool. i didnt want anything to come of this stuff but oh well. i guess i have to do what i have to do. and that is a great suggestion of calling the cops and making sure they have it on record and what not. i hope that guy is on here. cuz id tell him hes a douche' bag.
  18. Ruminator

    Ruminator TeamOGF

    Hindsight is always 20/20 I know. This is for any additional situations that could yet arise with them; and for general consideration also by everyone else.

    Icefisherman, I know the helpless, angry feeling you had, I've been there once, in my case I was at work on afternoons and more than a half-hour away.

    Doing the most for your wife's protection and well-being has to be your first concern.
    Everything you knew of both the wife and her husband told you they are irrational, and especially unpredictable people.
    Knowing that, forget the guns and the macho crap that as men we feel(noone's driving me out of my home)- do you really want your wife to experience shooting someone and all that she will have to deal with emotionally if it can be avoided?

    For your wife's best long-term interests in mind, you needed to have her leave immediately even while she talked to you on the phone. This immediately gives back to your wife her sense of personal security and allows her to let go of her huge fears she'd likely experienced. This is SO major, especially for a woman.
    Absolutely your first concern as her husband.
    She can go to a neighbor's, or family member's and call the police from there.
    Then have a police report made out and include the implied threat aspect- an angry man against a woman at home alone.
  19. Good advice Rumi.
  20. Exactly how bad were the scratches on the bumper? And how old is the vehicle? I know hindsight is always 20-20 but if it so minor that the lady thought a little spit could take care of the marks, I would have just gotten the cop's name and let it go. I 've been tapped at a light a couple of times and last winter I kissed a minivan's bumper due to icy conditions. Luckily no damage. My rule no blood no foul. I hate to get that first ding on a new car but you and your wife have had gotten a boatload of stress for your couple of scratches. Sometimes its better to pay forward and hope if you cause an accident, all will be forgiven. Hope everything works out for you. There are too many crazies in this world. Reading some of the above comments I can see how someone got shot at ToysRus on Black Friday.