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God Loves Blondes

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by misfit, Jun 1, 2004.

  1. misfit

    misfit MOD SQUAD

    A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust
    and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides
    to ask God for help.

    She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and
    if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let
    me win the lottery."

    Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

    She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my
    business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

    Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

    Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
    business, my house, and my car.My children are starving. I don't often ask
    You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You PLEASE let me win
    the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
    Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the blonde is overwhelmed by
    the Voice of God, Himself...

    "Sweetheart, work with Me on this...... Buy a ticket."

    MLAROSA Loving Life

    A blonde got a job with the Public Works Department. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural
    road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set
    average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.

    The blonde agreed to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor, checking up at the end of
    the day, found the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average!!

    "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."

    The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles. The
    supervisor thought,
    "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

    The third day however the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought,
    "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse."

    The boss pulled the new employee in and says,
    "You were doing so great. The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you
    only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from
    meeting the 2 mile minimum?"

    The blonde replied,
    "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket."

  3. Fishman

    Fishman Catch bait???

    lol those are some good ones