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Funny quotes

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by DaleM, Jul 28, 2004.

  1. DaleM

    DaleM Original OGF Staff Member

    THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2003:



    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?]


    Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!]

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!]
    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I wipe thoroughly!]
    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [ what a guy!]
    Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]
    War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [you think?!]

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [who would have thought!]

    Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something!]

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

    Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [weren't they fat enough?!]

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That what he gets for eating those beans!]

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken!]

    Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy [That was really giving of himself!]

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

    And the winner is....
    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [I certainly hope so!]
     
  2. I wonder if the FAA review ever concluded whether or not something was actually wrong with that jet or not? :)
    I gess it pays to checke you're work. :p