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Fishing Jokes

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Bassman, Aug 17, 2004.

  1. Bassman

    Bassman KevinVanDamJr

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    Learning A Lesson
    A priest loved to striper fish. It was an obsession, but so far this year the weather had been so bad that he had not had a chance to get his beloved boat out and his get his favorite lures out of their box. Strangely though every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work. The weather forcast was again good for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and in bed with the flu. He asked if he could take over his sermon.

    The priest drove fifty miles to a nearby lake where he thought that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He informed God, who agreed that he should do something.

    With the first cast of his line a huge fish gulped down the lure. For over an hour the priest fought the huge the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record striper.

    Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson." God replied "I did. Who do you think he is going to tell?"
     
  2. Bassman

    Bassman KevinVanDamJr

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    How To Know If You Can Go Fishing
    I bought my wife a mood ring so that I could tell when she was in a good mood for me to ask if I could go fishing.

    When she is in a good mood, the ring is a pretty light green that matches the colour of her eyes.

    When she's not, the ring leaves a little red mark right in the middle of my forehead
     

  3. Bassman

    Bassman KevinVanDamJr

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    Pet Fish
    A man was stopped by a game warden on Lake Cumberland recently with two buckets of fish while leaving the lake. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

    The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

    "Pet fish?" the warden replied.

    "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."

    "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"

    The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."

    "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now. The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"

    "Well, What?" the man responded.

    "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.

    "Call who back?" the man asked.

    "The FISH."

    "What fish?" the man asked.
     
  4. Bassman

    Bassman KevinVanDamJr

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    The Fish Is Smarter
    Ralph and Terry went fishing one day and Ralph tied into a really big bass.

    After about a half hour battle, Ralph was not gaining any line. He looked at Terry and said "I think it is snagged."

    Being a diver Terry stripped to his shorts and dove over the side of the boat to try and free the fish.

    Terry came up after his first attempt and said "That fish is caught in the steering wheel of a 1934 Plymouth that is at the bottom of the lake."

    Ralph asked if he could get it out so Terry went down again.

    Terry came back up for air and said "You might as well cut the line, we'll never get that fish.

    "Ralph asked "Why not?"

    Terry replied "Every time I reach in the window to untangle that fish, it goes and rolls up the window on my arm."
     
  5. Bassman

    Bassman KevinVanDamJr

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    Catfish or Bass
    Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.
    He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
    "Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
    "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
    "Okay, but I suggest that you take the striped bass."
    "But why?"
    "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take striped bass. She prefers that for supper tonight."
     
  6. Bassman

    Bassman KevinVanDamJr

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    The Least I could Do
    One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.

    Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"

    Bob then replies "Well... It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."

    These jokes were sent to me from striperwiper.
     
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