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Dear Tech Support:

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by Row v. Wade, Sep 27, 2004.

  1. Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
    the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
    space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
    all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications
    such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing
    3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    favorite applications. I`m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
    the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


    A Troubled User.


    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
    and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
    delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
    uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
    Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
    situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
    alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife
    1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
    It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
    the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only
    way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
    software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support