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Advice Needed - Please

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Stinky Fingers, Jul 9, 2007.

  1. Well….I’ve been in Florida now for almost 4 years. It has been fun, I bought a home with a pool, I've done some fishing, and I’ve met a ton of great people but I don’t think it is for me. I have an hour and half drive to either coast, then another hour and a half boat ride to the fish. That's 3 hours before you can even wet a line. Add to that below average boat ramps, no parking at the ramps, and $3 a gallon fuel it takes all of the fun out of a day of fishing. Traffic, old people, taxes, insurance.....Basically I've had enough.

    On the personal side, I'm 33 this month, I got married a couple months ago to my girlfriend of almost 7 years. Her entire family is up in Ohio along with all of our friends. I know she would move back in a heart beat. As for my family, I'm an only child and my parents are down here but the majority of extended family is still up in Ohio. I know that sometime in the next year or so we will start a family of our own so I figure that if I am going to make a move I better do it before a child come into the picture. My main concern is with my parents, they are currently late 50's and in good active health, what happens when they get older and need care or assistance with things? I won't be there to help???? Our family just went thru this with my grandparents in Ohio and fortunately my Aunt and Uncle stepped up and have taken care of everything. I know that things always have a way of working out but being an only child I'm the only person they have. I know they want me to live my life but they have always been there for me and I feel that I need to repay them when the time comes.

    Also not sure I could get back into freezing my ass off or shoveling snow!!!
  2. 1.5 hrs from either coast? Sounds like you live in the Orlando area...GET OUT OF THAT SWEATBOX AND MOVE TO Tampa, WPB or Ft. Laud!

  3. Lewzer

    Lewzer Powderfinger

    Sell that massive boat and get a 16' aluminum. There are plenty of big lakes all around you to fish.
    Don't worry about the parents. In 20 years when their health starts failing they can move back to Ohio. Or your kids will almost be fully grown and you can then make trips to help them out if they are still in Florida.
    I wouldn't expect my daughter to stick around her mom and I just in case our health starts failing when she is in her 40's. That's not fair to her.
    That's why we have insurance.
  4. SwollenGoat

    SwollenGoat Scourge of Hoover

    To what extent do you want to assist them? Do they have a plan for retirement/growing old/death? Do they have a continuous source of income other than S.S.? These are things that they should already be thinking about and hopefully have at least an idea of what they want. Talk to them and listen to what they say.

    *Don't know all the details of your situation or parents, and I don't know what kind of people you/they are. But I don't look at my son and wonder if he's going to take care of me when I'm old. I don't expect him to.
  5. I lived in North Carolina for 11 years... Trust me, if that is your biggist problem stay put. Up here we can only fish between ice up (remember that?) and then we dont have 10 pound bass, spider rigging for crappie or tarpon under the Skyway bridge. We do have sea food- previously frozen of course.
    If you miss it that bad, take a two week vacation up here and you will remember why you left.

    I learned that you can not come back and expect things to be the way they were!
  6. Move back to Ohio - then you'll always have somewhere to stay on Vacation (florida)...........

    Course, I don't know if I could leave all those big bass down've gotta have some lakes more near you than 1 1/2 hours away, right?? You're talking you've got a boat to take in the ocean???

    Definately get a bass boat, there's some HAWGS down there!!!!
  7. Goat- The parents are set for retirement money wise but its one of those things that you just never know. I guess I just think to much sometimes and I would feel a little guilty leaving. They bought a house on the harris chain, also bought a pontoon, they spend the evenings and weekends cruising around drinking beers and stopping at the various watering holes! Sometimes I think they have it better than I do! LOL

    I live in Ocala, there is rodman and the st johns, also the Harris Chain down around my parents house. I've never been a bass fisherman, casting and casting and! Trolling or bottom fishing is my thing. I usually fish the gulf out of the crystal river area or go out of st. augustine or ponce inlet. I have a 26' walkaround and fish out to about 90 miles. A fishing trip for 4 guys is costing better than $500 a day on your own boat and that's only 30-40 miles out.

    KMB411 - The funny thing is that I have fished less days total in 4 years down here than I did in one year in ohio. I averaged 100 days a year on the water in ohio. I've fished maybe 40 in the last 4 years. As for things not being the same, I know from experience what you are saying. That's why I'm putting a lot of thought into this before I even mention it to the Mrs. Once I say something to her it will be a done deal!
  8. CaptNate

    CaptNate Pro Angler and Guide

    Sounds like you need to explore more of the fishing opportunities that exist're completely missing the inshore scene which is a hell of a lot cheaper than offshore.

    Plus with that big boat, you're limited on where you can fish.
    But if you're set on offshore, you're living far from the coast to make it practical.

    I takes a while to get used to living in Florida, but it's nearly impossible to leave once you realize how great the fishing is.

    P.S. Hit the offshore scene right now. There's a ton of action for kings, wahoo, dolphin, and tarpon within 1-20 miles of Ponce.
  9. A parent's goal is to see their children live happy, well adjusted lives -- not to give it up for them in servitude. How long did your parents manage by themselves before you moved down? They're still young and in good health and having the time of their lives. I'd move back to Ohio. There's still plenty of time to make another change down the road if/when your parents become housebound.

    FWIW, all of my aunts & uncles who moved to FLA have permanently returned to Ohio. The pull of family can get to be too much.
  10. I can appreciate what you are saying about the inshore stuff. I thought about downsizing to a flats or bay boat. Figured I could freshwater bass fish from it or chase trout and reds. I'm still undecided on what to do. The fishing thing is only part of it. Just seems like once you add that to the insurance/taxes/and crowds it gets even worse.
  11. Grumpy

    Grumpy Certified Old Geezer

    I think you need to brush up on your Florida inland fishing! Bass are not the only fish down there. Not by a long shot.
  12. soua0363

    soua0363 Master of Nothing

    I kind of know the feeling...I live here in the Cincinnati area and my parents live in Concord, North Carolina. It is a tough decision because you do not want to feel like you abandon them. I sometimes get the same feeling too although I never did move with my parents from Akron to Concord but moved from Akron to Cincinnati for college and just made my life here. At times I wish that I could help them out whenever they needed me or that I lived close enough to stop by every other weekend or so to check on them. Now it is an 8 hour trip one way every few months at best. What my mom told me was that I need to stop worrying about it because if I can take care of myself and pay for my own things then she has done her job as being a parent and that by me being able to take care of myself I am helping her.

    My wife is going through the same thing too. Her folks live in Chattanooga and her mom has been sick and she has a guilty feeling that she is not there to help her out or anything. Her mom told her that she just needs to worry about herself and let life take its course and not to feel guilty about living away from her because it is how life is and she cannot always be there to help.

    I know it is a tough situation to fall into but it is a situation where you have to talk to your folks about it and see what they have to say. I am sure that if they really need you, they will let you know where ever you may be. I am not a real religious guy and I do not know if you are or not but you can always talk to you pastor about it. It may help give you some guidance.

    As far as fishing goes, I would take the advice that others have suggested...get a smaller boat and do the inshore fishing catching tarpons, redfish, and what not. Looks fun on TV!!!
  13. The only place I ever lived that I regret moving away from was Florida. I would go back in a heartbeat.
  14. misfit

    misfit MOD SQUAD

    that kinda reminded me of an old saying.i've learned in my 60 years that it holds very may not be so much advise,as something to think about.

    "when you're sitting in that rocker some day reflecting on your life choices,you will regret the things you DIDN'T do,much more than the things you DID do."

    whether you stay or leave is a choice only you can make.being a parent of three "30 something" kids,i know what i'd tell them......................if they asked my thoughts.and i have a feeling your parents would tell you the same;)
  15. CaptNate

    CaptNate Pro Angler and Guide


    If you downsized to say a 22' bayboat (Ranger, Pathfinder, Shearwater make nice ones) then you could conceivably do everything inshore, nearshore (cobia, tarpon, kingfish), some light offshore stuff that's not too far (dolphin, wahoo, etc), as well as freshwater lakes and rivers. Those 22' v-bottom bay boats are very, very versatile in Florida.

    If you hang the right outboard, you also won't bury yourself in gas expenses.

    Insurance would be minimal. Hell my commercial charter insurance is only about $600/yr.
  16. my dad had to retair because of healh they told him if he would retair he would live maybe 4 or 5 years him and my mom moved to fl he lasted 17 good yearsthey ask us kids about it and we told them that any one that old should do what they wanted to do , I worry about my mom since dad passed she is 89 years old and we visit her every chance we get ,We ask her if she wanted to move back with us,she said she been down there since 1972 and feel like its her home and not to worry about her , to live hour lives she lives in a assited living complex and is whell thaken care of and not to worry about her bless her heart we talk twice a week and she really apreciates it i can tell by her voice so we all are fine with this so we all are happy
  17. Guys,

    I really appreciate all the advice. My old man and I are best friends and we talk daily via email throught every work day. That won't change no matter where I live. The one thing is that I can't imagine what my life is going to be like when his time here is done. Larry and Carl have fished with him, he acts like he is still 20 and one of the coolest people I know. Drinking, raising hell and having a good time. Maybe that is why I am having such a hard time making a decision on what to do.

    As many of the guys from the old GFO site know fishing was a huge part of my life. I loved fishing lake erie, whether it was walleye tourneys or just out fun fishing and drinking beer with the guys. Heck I even went thru the hassle of obtaining my captains license so I could run charter trips even though I knew that it wasn't something I would ever do full time. I truly miss the fun times camping before an erie tourney at geneva and freezing my butt off at the spring catawba tourneys with 12 boats!!!

    Moving to Florida I thought I was going to fish more and had visions of working and starting a part time charter business for fun and to get me on the water. Since moving here I found there is a ton of BS to running charters, for example a set of permits is 15k! Plus I ended up with a job that is located 1 1/2 hours from the nearest coast.

    The funny thing is that I had a long a talk with the old man tonight on the way to the airport. He told me to suck it up an decide what I want to do. He and Mom both feel they made the best decision of their lives to move here. They have a house on the harris chain, pool, pontoon boat, and they are happy. They have more friends and things to do than they had in ohio.

    Almost seems like the roles are reversed. I was the one in Ohio with the cake job where I didn't have to travel and the carefree one out fishing and having fun. Now I'm the one stuck busting my ass and traveling all over ends of the world with no time to fish!! LOL

    I guess the bottomline is that I just need to decide what is right for me and where I want to live. If it is in Ohio I might need to find a good paying job! LOL

    Captn Nate..... You interested in a 1 man week day charter sometime early august????? I'm in Ohio later this week for a wedding and then off to China on business for 10 days, otherwise it would be sooner!
  18. captnroger

    captnroger OGF Webmaster

    Stay put and move to the coast. I lived in FL for 8 years but never would live in the central part of the state. I was in Sarasota and loved it. Would move back in a heartbeat if I could find a good paying job there. Once your on the coast you can pay to have your boat in a marina where they can just forklift it into the water for you.
  19. stormfront

    stormfront Guest

    we tell our kids to go and make a life for themselves where ever they may be happy. we'll take care of ourselves. have been to florida many times and i do not know how people can live down there. great place to spend the month of february, but the heat would kill me. in your case, talk to your wife about you quandary and then follow your heart. all of us have an opinion but only you walk with your shadow.
  20. Ruminator

    Ruminator TeamOGF

    Wow Jason! You've got a poser, thats for sure. ;)

    I do know that my life's greatest pleasures and joys have come from my family.
    With parents in both places, you've already had to deal with some long-distance relationship stresses, I'd think.

    Personally, I'd consider long on these three things:

    - your relationship and time enjoyed with your Dad
    - your wife's continuing ability to live a long distance from her family
    - any differences in locations for raising your kids

    Along with those, getting a job back here that won't keep you from your family, and pays enough for how you like to live.
    And if your wife will work, how easily can she get a job here?