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Advice from the next generation

Discussion in 'OGF Comedy Corner' started by katfish, Sep 29, 2004.

  1. katfish

    katfish Cats are where it's at!

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    This sounds like typical Kayla talk:

    Never trust a dog to watch your food.
    Patrick, age 10

    When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him
    Heather, 16

    Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
    Michael, 14

    Stay away from prunes.
    Randy, 9

    Don't squat with your spurs on:
    Noronha, 13

    Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to:
    Emily, 10

    When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    Taylia, 11

    Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. --
    Traci, 14

    Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers.
    Mitchell, 12

    Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tictac
    Andrew, 9

    Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
    Kyoyo, 9

    You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    Armir, 9

    Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    Kellie, 11

    If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
    Naomi, 15

    Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
    Lauren, 9

    Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
    Joel, 10

    When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
    Alyesha, 13

    Never try to baptize a cat.
    Eileen, 8

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


    A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

    A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair eating a snack cake while her dad gets his hair cut. The barber says to her, 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie.' She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'

    A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!."
     
  2. Darwin

    Darwin If your gonna be a bear..

    Never try to baptize a cat!! MMMMMEEEEEEEOOOOOWWWWW!!

    This is a good list!!
     

  3. Those are classic! I may have to pass those on.